In Search of the Rare and Mythical Unicorn Job Applicant

Hello,

Let me introduce myself. My name is Lynn Smythe – I am a freelance writer, blogger and communications consultant. Here’s a quick summary of what’s been going on in my personal and professional life. I walked away from corporate life a few months ago (on very good terms with that employer) to travel out-of-state to say my goodbyes to a sick relative.

Please Note: This is a re-post of a similar article I posted to LinkedIn. I didn’t get a lot of views so changed it up a bit and re-posting to my lifestyle blog.

Since getting back to town, almost 6 months ago, I have looked for my next career opportunity. In addition to being a SEO copywriter, I also do a bit of blogger outreach on my two hobby/niche blogs (The Creative Cottage and Sloth Athletica). Fortunately, I have kept my head afloat, so to speak, with a few sponsored content posts and social media outreach marketing opportunities.

However; these opportunities are sporadic at best and is just about impossible to plan a serious household budget around sponsored content. I’m a few notches down from the Kardashians – okay – I’m at the bottom of the barrel compared to the Kardashians – but I’m still here. So, I am looking for a permanent part-time or full-time position to supplement my sponsored post/influencer income.

They Really Like Me – NOT!

Here’s today’s beef on my continuing job search escapades. When you do an initial phone screening with the HR Manager and they love you – that’s fantastic! Then, about a week later, you do a phone screening with the hiring manager who says they need to hire someone ASAP because the position has been open for over 3 months. You’re probably still thinking everything is going fine – if they hated you, they would have ended the conversation after a few minutes – right?

Wrong. Because this is what actually happened to me after a recent job application I submitted to a certain company whose name shall not be spoken. Their response after the two phone screenings was… CRICKETS. Nothing, nada – the classic ghosting voice of radio silence. Then about 2 weeks later, I received a rather generic looking email stating they decided to pursue this opportunity with another candidate. Fine, no problem. Thank you for letting me know I’m no longer being considered for the position – sure beats radio silence!

Still Looking for Their Magical Unicorn

Then, here’s what really gets me riled up. Two days later I noticed that the HR department has re-listed the position as a new job opportunity on every job board known to man, including Craigslist. Here’s a thought – maybe your wish list of requirements is too unrealistic. What, NO, did she really say that (yes, I did, I actually did say that, thank you very much).

Here’s my advice to the HR department and hiring managers. Perhaps it’s a time for reflection to realize that the magical unicorn you are looking for, the one who has ALL the requested job skills, doesn’t actually exist. NOOOOOOO!!!!! Maybe, just maybe, it’s time to give someone a chance who excels in 1 or 2 areas. It seems to me that you are really looking to hire 1 person to have all the skill sets, and perform all the duties, of 3 or 4 people.

 

Social Media Marketing & Marketing Strategy Masterclass 2018

I’m Your Words on a Page Expert

I am a freelance writer, SEO copywriter and communications consultant. I can write on just about any subject for just about any company (except maybe vaping, gambling or any adult toy sites – I guess I do have my limits). I can do basic designs, even infographics, on Canva but I am by no means a Photoshop, graphic design pro. I can also do basic HTML edits on the backend of your WordPress or Magento site, but again, I am by no means a programming/UX/coding pro.

My skill set covers content marketing, copy editing, project managing remote freelance writers and marketing communications analysis. In other words, I can run your entire marketing communications department including setting up your editorial calendar, media outreach and even your 12 month corporate marketing plan. If it’s words on a page (or website or magazine) you are looking for, then I’m your gal!

Phone Screening Interviews Suck

Quick recap, their last email to me said they were hiring someone else. So, imagine my amazement when I discovered that this position is still open – now going on 4 months. What happened to needing to find someone to fill the position ASAP? I guess they are still looking for their magical, fantastical, imaginary unicorn that has every skill set known to man.

Another thing that gets my beef – what the heck happened to in-person interviews? I understand an initial phone screening to make sure the candidate actually has the skills they claim on their resume/cover letter. But, for this particular position I applied to, the first phone screening with their human resources department lasted 1 hour. That’s not a screening – that’s an initial interview! Then, about a week later, I spent over an hour on the phone with the hiring manager.

Nine times out of 10 I think in-person interviews are WAY better. The exception to the rule is if it’s a really high muckity-muck position and you are possibly talking to out-of-state candidates. But otherwise, I want to see your eyeballs when I’m talking to you – LOL!

So, thank you for listening, rant over!

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P.S. – If you are looking for your next Communications Manager ROCKSTAR – hit a girl up – I’ve got you covered!

Take care,

Lynn Smythe
Founder and Chief Blogger
The Creative Cottage
Sloth Athletica

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